Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
