redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
