The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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