so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he shaved USA in his pubs
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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