Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im holly from the hills drunk
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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