low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
