dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
