i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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