Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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