Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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