just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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