Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
