Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
