He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
