Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
