I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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