No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
