your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Your dad touched me again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
