So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What a dumb baby whore.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
