she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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