Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize