there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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