paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
