Don't you send me to vm
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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