you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
