No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Semen is not good for contacts.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
