tell your sister to shave her snatch
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize