i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I came so hard my ears popped.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
