We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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