dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize