i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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