how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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