Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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