Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
