Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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