Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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