I cockslap morals
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
