why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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