She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
