found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
