he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
