At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
