Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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