curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have aggressive nipples.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
