its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
