Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
