I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Even my vagina gasped.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
