so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
