I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
