I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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