It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
