I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
