butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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