I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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