you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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