I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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