So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize