so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
