I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
These tits shall not be calmed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
