Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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