It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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