What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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