There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
