How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
