just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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