Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
