Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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