Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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